


The Comfort of Fiends

by Cobalt_Mystic (Heavenly_Bodies)



Series: Fiend!verse [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Jossverse
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Claiming, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rape/Non-con References, protective Spike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 15:46:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heavenly_Bodies/pseuds/Cobalt_Mystic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xander’s nightmares have piqued the curiosity of our favourite insanely jealous and protective peroxide vamp… the story he uncovers is disturbing, even to a Childe of Angelus.</p><p>WARNING: NON-CON- lots of non-con some implied some more graphic, ABUSE- both physical and mental! This is NOT one of Mys’ schmoopfests! There is NON-CON and ABUSE and angst and lots (she hopes) of comfort to make up for all the icky stuff.<br/>NB- the underage warning is for the past abuse, not the current S/X relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. With Fiends Like These

**Author's Note:**

> **AN1:** HEED THE WARNINGS!  
>  **AN2:** If you missed it, this is NOT one of Mys’ schmoopfests! There is NON-CON and ABUSE and angst and lots (she hopes) of comfort to make up for all the icky stuff.  
>  **AN3:** This is Mys’ first attempt at anything touching on subjects this dark, so she hopes she did okay, and recognizes that this may not have worked as well as she could have hoped. …so be gentle, ’k.  
>  **AN4:** Block quotes are the past, flashback’s if you will, sections beginning with *** and text in _italics_ indicate flashback within the flashback or a different kind of flashback (because only I would put a flashback inside a flashback *head desk*).
> 
>  
> 
> **A huge immeasurable thank you with matching hugs and chocolate for my precious bmblbee  
> **  
>  Originally posted on LJ, on Apr. 14th, 2008

\---------

“Oi, Whelp!? You in there?”

Groaning, Xander pulled his pillow over his head. “Go away, Spike!”

“’ey, not very nice way to treat the bloke bringin’ ya coffee and doughnuts.”

Lifting the edge of his pillow, he peered out at the vamp making himself at home in _his_ basement. “Okay,” the groggy mortal sat up, “I give. Why is the big nasty, not-so-evil, chipped vampire bringing me pastry goodness and the fuel of the gods? Is it April already? Or just another apocalypse?”

“Neither, ya git,” Spike snapped as he pushed a Styrofoam cup into the young man’s hand.

Greedily, Xander gulped the hot, bitter liquid.

“Chits are worried ‘bout you.”

“Really?” Xander looked questioningly at the vamp.

“Yeah.”

It always amazed Xander how the blond could fit so much meaning into one little word. In this case, he was pretty sure ‘yeah’ meant ‘no, not really, but try to prove it and see how far it gets you’ but with more British-isms. “Doubt that. Wills would be here if they were that worried.”

Spike inclined his head conceding the point, “Yeah, well, don’t exactly know how else to take it when the whole lot of ‘em clam up like they did.”

Xander’s eyes widened, “I’m impressed, Spike. Not many could strike my girls speechless. What did you do?”

“Asked who Jesse was.”

Vampiric speed and reflexes were all that saved Xander from a trip to the hospital and at least 2nd degree burns.

Quietly, with a frightening chill in his voice, Xander asked, “Where’d you hear that name?” _Please don’t say it. Please don’t say it. Please. Don’t. Say. It. ___

__Every bit as quietly, but with a surprising warmth, the vamp answered, “You.” Then as if aiming to reassert his ‘Big Bad’ status, “Dream about the bloke often enough, figured it’d be worth finding out who your boyfriend was.”_ _

__Suddenly, Spike found himself on the floor, a stake at his throat._ _

__Trying his best to chuckle mockingly, “Shit, Harris, all this time helping the Slayer and ya can’t remember where to stake a vampire.”_ _

__Snarling, Xander replied, “You assume I want to dust your sorry, fangless ass, maybe I just want to hurt you and watch you bleed.”_ _

__“Xander,” Spike was awestruck, whether that was good or bad he wasn’t certain, but he did know the vehemence and hatred in the boy’s eyes and tone sent chills through his undead body. Part of his brain wondered if this was the Xander Harris that faced down Angelus years ago._ _

__As suddenly as the mortal had been on him, he was gone. Striding towards the bathroom, Xander didn’t look back as he called, “I want you gone by the time I’m done.”_ _

__\---_ _

__Spike stalked through the tunnels beneath Sunnydale, daring anyone or anything to cross his path. He was a Master Vampire, and he was _pissed_! The whelp was his to torment and the mere thought of anyone else having that power over the boy caused his demon to rage. And where did the boy get off- kicking **him** out, attacking **him**? The boy was his and he had every right to know who caused his boy so many restless and conflictingly scented nights._ _

__Well, Spike was resourceful, even when he was human he had a talent for finding information and this wouldn’t be any different. He just needed to figure out where to start._ _

__\---_ _

___Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, **fuck**!_ _ _

__Xander wanted to kick himself… and Spike._ _

__Why did he have to start with the nightmares again? Why’d the Bleached Menace have to hear?_ _

__Gods, he wasn’t up to going through this again._ _

__Then there was the anger- he hated that part of himself; it looked too much like his father. He could only hope Spike wouldn’t bring it up- yeah, right._ _

__Resisting the urge to pound his head into the shower tiles, he instead rubbed his forehead against the cool pseudo-porcelain and let the freezing water sluice over him, the chill both comforting and refreshing._ _

____

*********

> “Christ Xan. What did he do to you this time?”
> 
> “Oh you know, same ol’ same ol’.” The battered boy winced as he sat down.
> 
> “He didn’t?”
> 
> “Huh? Oh, nah not this time, just nailed me good against the coffee table.”
> 
> “Good. ‘cause that sweet ass in mine.”
> 
> Xander cringed at the other boy’s words, but at least Jesse took care of him- after a fashion. That’s what he told himself anyway. Jesse didn’t beat him senseless, split him open, and fuck him raw. Jesse helped tend his wounds, kept his secret, and used lube and stretched him (a little) before fucking him. Jesse also claimed he loved him.
> 
> “Strip.” Jesse’s tone was commanding, rather than caring. Still, Xander did as he was told, then lay on his bruised back across Jesse’s bed.
> 
> In the frighteningly methodical way he always did, Jesse would examine, poke and prod every cut and bruise on his friend’s body. The boy seemed to get some dark sadistic pleasure from Xander’s wounds. Task completed he’d then kiss his injured companion hard and possessively before quickly preparing him and taking him only slightly less roughly than his father would have.
> 
> This time was no different.
> 
> As Jesse pounded into him, Xander did his best to block out the words tumbling from the boy’s mouth. He focused on feeling- feeling anything but his bruises and the emptiness inside. Unfortunately, that always brought him back to how this all started…
> 
> _*** School had just begun, days were still long and southern California hot, and teenage boys would sneak out to meet each other and make the most of their stolen time._
> 
> _Xander was supposed to meet Jesse by the old tree house that evening, but he never arrived._
> 
> _An hour passed before Jesse gave in and decided to go check on his friend._
> 
> _The light in Xander’s room was on and the window was cracked open. With skill that came with years of experience, the lanky boy scaled the old birch outside Xander’s window. What he saw sent shivers through him._
> 
> _It was no secret to the boy that Xander’s father was abusive, even Xander wasn’t **that** clumsy, but he’d never suspected this. Jesse watched enthralled as Tony Harris savagely violated his own son._
> 
> _Blood flowed in intricate trails over Xander’s back and down between his legs. The sight both horrified and aroused the young man in the tree. He ached with desire to be the one penetrating the dark boy he claimed as his best friend, to have that power._
> 
> _Once the elder Harris ‘finished’ and left his son’s room, Jesse made his move, scrambling through the window to the abused boy on the floor. Jesse unceremoniously ripped a sheet off the bed, wrapping it around his friend and cradling Xander to him._
> 
> _Xander flinched violently at Jesse’s touch, thinking his father had returned, but he stilled quickly at the feel of a hand, much slimmer than his father’s, combing his hair and the quietly murmured, “Xan, it’s me. It’s Jesse. He’s gone, Xan, he’s gone.”_
> 
> _Silent tears trickled down Xander’s face and into Jesse’s shirt as the boy either succumb to exhaustion or, more likely, passed out._
> 
> _Xander awoke with a start the following morning. He was in his bed with an arm around his waist and a warm body pressed to his back. Not how he was used to waking up after one of his father’s beatings. Then a familiar voice said, “Hey, you’re awake.”_
> 
> _“Jesse?”_
> 
> _“Shh, you were expecting the bogey-man?”_
> 
> _The boy chuckled, “Ow…”_
> 
> _The painful sound reminded them both of exactly why Jesse was sharing Xander’s bed._
> 
> _“How long?”_
> 
> _Xander shook his head against the pillow, willing the question away._
> 
> _When his friend didn’t answer, Jesse took a harder approach, his tone commanding an answer, “ How long?”_
> 
> _Sheepishly, as if the mere thought of the words would earn him another beating, Xander answered, “Since Mom went to her sister’s last Summer.”_
> 
> _“Christ Xan, why didn’t you come to me or Willow?”_
> 
> _“God Jesse, you won’t tell Willow, will you? You know how she gets when she can’t fix something.”_
> 
> _Petting the boy in his arms, Jesse tried to reassure him, “Calm down Xan, I won’t tell her. I promise. Right now, you need to rest. We’ll talk about this later.”_
> 
> _Slowly, he relaxed into his friend’s warmth and the knowledge that, for the moment at least, he wasn’t alone. Just before he drifted to sleep, he muttered, “Thanks Jesse.”***_

*********

Pacing, Spike decided, was an activity best left to expectant fathers and areas larger than a crypt- or larger than _his_ crypt. After hours of futilely chasing sleep, the vampire surrendered to his need to pace and (he growled as the thought escaped his addled brain) brood.

How was he going to find this Jesse person, ‘specially with the chits playing mum? Not like he could ask good ol’ Rupert either. And he wasn’t desperate enough to risk the Great Poof’s involvement even if the cheerleader knew something.

_Hmph, cheerleaders,_ the vamp snickered, _stupid bints posing for the camera, barely ‘nough blood in their anorexic bodies for an appetizer._ That’s when it hit him- pictures, yearbooks. This Jesse was someone from his boy’s past, which meant high school most likely since the chits knew him, and his boy was bound to have a couple of those blasted mementos around somewhere.

A plan began to present itself- nice and simple. He’d wait for the Whelp to be off making a fool of himself at whatever half-arsed minimum wage job he was working, sneak into the basement and snoop. It was something he’d done countless times since his forced co-habitation with the boy; only difference now was he had something specific to look for. A mischievous evil grin settled on his lips, a matching glint sparkled in his eyes. This plan was cheering Spike up quite nicely.

\---

Hidden deep in the shadows, concealed from the glow of nearby streetlights and the invasive headlights of the occasional passing car, Spike waited for the young mortal to leave. He stifled a growl when the boy emerged wearing the humiliating uniform of the week, and watched as he climbed into his monstrosity of a car and drove off. When this little puzzle was sussed, he’d have to see about pushing the Whelp towards a decent job. But right now, he had a man to find.

Spike slipped easily into the basement, nostrils flaring at the heady scent of his boy- his anger, fear, lust, and the underlying ever-present sweet scent of purity that enticed his demon so.

With the knowledge of previous scavenges, Spike quickly locate the books. Carefully, with a reverence he’d deny vehemently if ever questioned, the vamp tucked the books securely in his duster and slipped back out into the night.


	2. Fiends and Enemies

\---------

Xander stumbled through his shift, his mind was more distant than usual after the morning’s Fangless encounter. Damn-it, it shouldn’t bother him so much- just because he and the Bleached Wonder were developing a bit less of a hatred for each other and maybe it was nice to have another guy around who was more of an outcast/fifth wheel than he was, but that didn’t mean they were friends or that he cared about hurting the vamp’s feelings.

It wasn’t Spike’s fault he hit on a sensitive subject- not that he thought for a moment the snarky blond wouldn’t use it against him if he had known- or that Xander was having the nightmares again. It probably wasn’t even the vamp’s fault that he’d overheard enough to pick Jesse’s name out of Xander’s sleep induced mutterings.

Xander felt bad, guilty even, he shouldn’t have reacted the way he had- letting his emotions get the better of him. By the end of his shift, Xander reached the conclusion that, while he didn’t feel guilty enough to hunt down the Not-So-Evil-Undead and apologize, he could afford to make sure he had some decent blood on hand and be a little more civil the next time he saw the vamp- providing said vamp didn’t bring up the incident or Jesse.

*********

> “Hey, how’re my two best buds this fine October morning?” Xander practically bounced up to Willow and Jesse.
> 
> His exuberance coupled with his flashy, baggy clothes always put Willow in mind of Gummi Bears and that image never failed to produce a giggle. “Hey, Xan! Feeling better I take it?”
> 
> “You bet, besides I missed you guys.”
> 
> “Hmm, more likely you missed cheerleading practice,” the lanky boy joked.
> 
> “Well…,” Xander shrugged his shoulders and gave a mischievous smirk.
> 
> “Oh, you two, I would tell you to stop being hormonal, but I doubt it would do any good.” The redhead gathered her books and stood, “Have fun ogling, I’m going to class.”
> 
> The girl received two salutes and “Yes, Ma’am!”s as she wandered away from the boys.
> 
> “So,” Jesse plopped down on the bench next to his friend, “you really okay?”
> 
> “Yeah, Xan-man’s made of rubber- he always bounces back.” The boy offered an entirely too honest and world-weary smile.
> 
> “You should’ve called me. I would’ve come, you know that.”
> 
> “Jesse…” This was the first time since waking up with his best-friend in his bed that Xander’s father had had a go at him.
> 
> “No, Xan. I’m serious, you shouldn’t be alone after… that!”
> 
> “Jesse, he didn’t…”
> 
> “I don’t care. Obviously, I do; what I meant was it doesn’t matter how bad or how far.” He gripped his best-friend’s shoulder, “If you’re not gonna do something about it before, you’re at least going to come to me after. You understand me?”
> 
> Xander gave a half-hearted smile, “Yeah, Jesse. I get ya.”
> 
> “Good! Now, which way did the Cordettes go?”
> 
> \------
> 
> It was a few weeks later when Jesse snatched up the ringing phone to hear his best-friend’s hoarse and broken voice, “Jesse… need you.”
> 
> “Hang on Xan, I’m coming.”
> 
> Once again the slim boy climbed the old tree by Xander’s window. Peering inside, he could just make out the shape of the boy curled into a ball on the floor. Quickly, Jesse went to his friend’s side, helping him onto the bed before locking and blocking the bedroom door. The lanky teen then returned to his beaten friend, stripped down to his boxers, and climbed into bed with him.
> 
> As he slowly began to calm, Xander pushed closer into Jesse’s welcoming embrace, chanting, “You came. You came. You came,” over and over as if he thought the boy would vanish if he didn’t maintain the mantra.
> 
> Within a few short months, Jesse had established the cycle Mr. Harris followed, and the two boys quickly fell into a routine based on that. If his father laid into him during the day or outside his ‘cycle’, Xander would either call or make his way to Jesse. At night, Jesse would wait in the old birch, watching the ‘activities’ going on in Xander’s bedroom. Sometimes nothing would happen, save for some terrifying shouting and threats. Sometimes, Xander would have a few new bruises to conceal. And sometimes as Tony Harris pounded into his son, the boy watched, wishing he was in place of the elder Harris. Stripping his dribbling shaft roughly in time to the large man’s grunts, imagining it was him taking Xander- owning him. Afterwards, Jesse would climb through Xander’s window to hold and comfort him.
> 
> It was during one of these ‘comfort sessions’ that their lips first touched.
> 
> Neither boy had intended for it to happen, nor had they intended for the heated clash of tongues, lips, and teeth that followed to occur. Never-the-less, it did happen, giving each boy what they craved- for one, compassion; the other, power.
> 
> Jesse was on cloud nine- he’d kissed Xander, and Xander kissed him! More importantly, Jesse now knew he could get what he wanted. The lanky boy smiled almost manically chuckling to himself as he made his way home- it was not a warming sight. 

*********

After leaving the Whelp’s wretched excuse for a home, Spike acquired himself a fresh bottle of JD and returned to his crypt to settle in for a fun filled night of reading the boy’s high school yearbooks. The vampire shuddered- he just hoped one bottle would be enough.

The first book he looked through was the most recent, and incredibly disturbing; mainly because it proved to him that Harmony was actually more intelligent and tolerable as a demon than when she was alive. Spike couldn’t help but be amazed she’d lasted as long as she had on the Hellmouth. The blond vamp downed half the bottle of Jack just to dull those memories.

As he flipped through the next book, the Scoobies’ Junior year, he was surprised by how vivid and fresh his own emotions were from those months.

Angelus returning, more psychotic and cruel than he’d ever been.

His Dark Princess, happy and healthier than she’d been in decades, dancing around her Sire all gleeful and giddy, her pale skin marred by **Daddy’s** wounds and her own sweet blood.

That blasted chair, never again, he’d rather be staked or greet the sun one final time then be a prisoner in his own body again. He still had nightmares about that, only now there were white rooms and white coats and cold hard cages added to the mix.

Angrily, Spike gulped the remaining liquor before hurling the bottle against the nearest wall. “T’ hells with this,” he announced to the air. “’m still the Big Bad, Master Vampire, two Slayers under m’ belt, don’t need to be pussy-footing ‘round ‘s if I need permission. Wanna know ‘bout the bastard and the Whelp’s gonna bloody well tell me!”

The blond grabbed his duster and stormed out of the crypt, determined to get some answers from his boy.

Spike strode purposefully towards the boy’s house, revising and dismissing ways the scene could play out.

One of the few scenarios the vamp hadn’t considered was being hit by the scent of the boy’s fear and sorrow the moment he was in sight of the Harris homestead. The flash of anger at someone or something, other than him, scaring his boy that badly shocked the vampire. Instantly, Spike was at the boy’s window, peering into the dark depths of the basement.

His boy sat on that horrid sofa bed, a small photo in his hands and a stake laying next to him. Spike strained to hear what the boy was saying, his confusion and anger ratcheting with the hodgepodge of words he could make out.

“So sorry, Jesse, so sorry, but she… you… it wasn’t because of… you were still my friend… still my friend…,” the boy sobbed, hiccupping, and fighting for breath. “It wasn’t ‘cause of… it WASN’T! You were my friend, you… it wasn’t right, none of it was.”

Slowly the boy cried himself out and fell into a highly troubled sleep.

The moment he was certain Xander was asleep, Spike quickly let himself inside and bee lined it for the boy. He unceremoniously snatched up the photo to see exactly who had this effect on his boy. If he hadn’t been so angry, Big Bad status aside, he would have smiled at the picture. It had obviously been taken outside of The Bronze; a tall, lean, dark-haired boy whose face and body screamed ‘awkward teenager’ stood in the centre, his arms flung around Red on one side and Xander on the other. Spike was amazed, he couldn’t remember when he’d seen either Scooby so completely carefree and happy. The vampire felt a sharp stabbing pain in his chest- this was **his** boy. How dare someone else make him that happy or cause him this much pain. Involuntarily, Spike hissed through demon fangs, the sound just loud enough to disturb the mortal’s sleep.

Flinching Xander whimpered, brokenly, “No Jesse… please… I promise he didn’t. Promise… would tell you.”

The vampire crept to the boy’s side. The question of whether or not to risk waking the young man was dismissed with barely a thought- a thought that ran along the lines of ‘mine, protect, mine, hurt, mine!’ Adopting the voice he used when comforting Dru, the vamp carded his fingers through his boy’s hair and cooed, “It’s okay, luv, calm down. That’s it, Xan, everything’s gonna be alright. Now, what is it you’d tell me?”

The boy squirmed, obviously upset at the question, but eventually he spoke, “If he fucked me,” he keened.

Spike saw red. His demon saw red. And the urge to dismember the bastard that dared touch Xander that way was strong enough to set off the chip, but his fury was so deep and pure that the normally debilitating pain was barely a blip on his internal radar. In fact, for once the pain seemed to serve as a focus, showing the vamp what had to be done.

First and foremost was getting his boy out of here. That meant getting Xander a decent job and convincing him he could and _deserved_ to have his own place. Then he’d see about disembowelling the waste of flesh his dark human had misfortune enough to call a father. Spike’d lived with the boy, he didn’t need the ‘who’ spelt out for him. He’d heard the rages and seen the bruises Xander passed off as patrol injuries. Yes, chip or no, that human was going to pay.

Spike stayed at the young man’s side until he seemed to reach a fairly peaceful sleep. A lesser demon might’ve been shocked by how much it seemed Spike cared for the boy and by how easily his mind accepted the knowledge, but this was Spike and after over a century with Drusilla, sudden emotional revelations were a drop in the hat- processed and dealt with as simply and easily as breathing was by the living. Besides, he might not have gotten all his answers, but he got a lot- and some new questions he didn’t even know he had.


	3. A Fiend in Need

\---------

“Gods damn-it all Xander, as improbable as it may seem, you _can_ talk to me.” The vamp was going insane, his boy was obviously upset, but he wouldn’t talk.

Since the night Spike had discovered exactly how bad things got at the Harris house, he’d set about befriending the boy and getting him the hell away from that place and those people. So far things were going well, Xander was enjoying his new job, construction work suited him, and he was settling nicely into his new apartment. Now if the boy would just open up a bit, but no, he was stubbornly silent. In a last ditch attempt to get a reaction from his boy, “’sides, not like I ‘aven’t sussed most of it myself.”

The young mortal snorted, “Yeah, and what is it you think you know, Spike? What? That my parents are alcoholics, that good ol’ Dad has a tendency to get wasted and take his frustration out on me? Well, newsflash Bleach for Brains, it’s old news and it’s not like I’m the only kid from a rotten home.” The mortal was raging and pacing, his emotions clamouring closer to the surface.

In a soft, heartfelt whisper the vamp replied, “You left out the bit where he rapes you.”

Xander spun on his heels to face the vampire, his rage evident and tears threatening to spill down his face. He was ready to lay into the vampire, defenceless or not, some lines shouldn’t be crossed, but the look on the blond’s face, in his eyes, stopped him. Pure, honest concern, and caring shown from those ice blue eyes. Almost more astonishing was the complete lack of pity. His voice, shaky and scared, asked, “How?”

“’m not stupid, Xan, knew ‘bout the beatings for a while. As for the other,” Spike’s eyes flashed fiery amber and he involuntarily snarled, “you told me.”

Xander’s eyes widened in terror, “I didn’t. I’d never,” the young man insisted.

Spike reached out a sculpted, black lacquered hand towards the human he’d been growing increasingly attached to. “Xander. You were dreaming, thought you were talkin’ to that Jesse fellow.” The vampire squeezed the boy’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Hmmm, Jesse.”

Suddenly, much to Spike’s dismay, the boy began laughing hysterically, he sounded as if he was coming unhinged. “Xander, mate? Xan? Oi, human, you’re scaring the demon, mate. Think you need to calm down.”

“That so, Spike. That what you really think?” Xander’s words were garbled and interspersed with frightening laughter. “Tell me, then, oh Fanged One, what if I told you that the only two people who knew about Mr. Harris’ exploits with his son, both turned out to be vamps and both were,” his hysteria seemed to be passing, or at least slowing, as he stared hard into Spike’s too blue eyes, “were my best-friends.” Xander barked a laugh, and his voice turned hard, “You should stay away from me Spike; I dusted the last vamp I cared about.”

That handful of words triggered a cascade of puzzle pieces falling into place, or at least falling into the general vicinity.

The girls’ reaction- if the boy had been turned, no wonder Red and the Slayer were so closed lipped.

Xander’s anger- to stake your best-friend that would be like him staking his Princess.

As if it was the most natural thing in the world, Spike pulled the unresisting human into a tight, protective embrace. “No wonder you’re such a shit to me and Peaches.”

A small smile touched his lips when he heard Xander’s half-hearted chortle. Slowly, the vampire moved them to the couch, then eased his boy into a comfortable position as he held him and let him cry himself to sleep.

\------

Xander squirmed and moaned in his sleep, startling the blond watching over him.

Not for the first time in recent months the young man had dozed off on ‘his end’ of the couch while watching the week’s offering of gratuitous explosions, excessive gunfire, and questionable, yet copious, amounts of blood with the vampire. It was a ritual that had been set in stone when Xander woke after his breakdown to find himself sprawled on one end of the sofa, a blanket draped over him, and Spike in a matching pose on the other end. There was no hateful or degrading snark. No recrimination for the previous night’s events. Just two guys, two friends sharing pizza, soda, booze, and bad flicks.

Another moan came from the dark form, this one more desperate and pleading then it‘s predecessor. Yet again, the vampire fought with himself over the distressed human.

Xander had made it clear that Spike was to stay as far away from the topics of Jesse and the boy’s nightmares as possible. And while Spike despised his boy’s pain, and the demon raged at being forbidden to protect his boy, Spike understood Xander’s need to maintain some vestige of control and he knew his boy would come to him when he was ready. He just hoped he’d be ready sooner rather than later, for both there sakes.

A whimper followed by a cry of pain tore at Spike’s gut, as Xander’s nightmare seemed to ratchet into a higher gear. He hoped it would pass quickly, the vamp didn’t think he could watch Xander in such torment very long without intervening. More whimpers and a plaintively murmured, “No,” and Spike no longer cared. Within seconds, the dark haired mortal was propped against the vampire’s firm chest with Spike’s arms wrapped protectively around him. Spike murmured and cooed, comforting the boy, once again thankful for the years of experience tending to his Dark Princess. The boy’s heart rate and breathing began to steady almost instantly, and sooner than Spike would’ve imagined Xander was again peacefully asleep.

*********

> “Oh god, babe,” panting, “yeah, so good. Jesus, Xan, …ungh… oh yeah, no fucking wonder. Always amazes me! …uhhh… no wonder...”
> 
> Xander knew better than to talk or respond other than pushing back against the body pounding into his. Doing so would only make the lies that much more blatant and he needed them. Needed to be able to pretend, to imagine tenderness, caring- anything other than revulsion at himself.
> 
> It had begun so differently. It had begun with hope and comfort. It had begun with an accidental kiss eight months ago. For months before that first not-so-innocent meeting of lips, Xander had taken comfort and refuge in Jesse’s arms. His mere presence a better salve than any conventional medicine. Even after the kiss, when the comfort expanded to include sensual kisses and wandering caresses, Jesse remained a remarkable balm.  
> Then things changed.
> 
> *** _Xander awoke terrified. His body still ached from last night’s beating and now he felt an all too familiar pressure against his ass._
> 
> _A hand came around to pet his bare chest and abdomen, “Shh, relax Xan. It’s me. It’s Jesse, not him.”_
> 
> _The boy’s heart rate slowed a notch at the familiar voice and it’s equally familiar words._
> 
> _Jesse rocked against him, “Oh babe. You make me crazy. Want you so bad, Xan. God let me in. Let me in. Gotta know. Let me in.”_
> 
> _Xander stifled a whimper as his best-friend entered him. After everything Jesse had done for him it didn’t feel right to say no, even if he’d had the chance._
> 
> _“Xan, babe. So amazing, so tight- like a velvet vice! No wonder he keeps coming back. God! Incredible!” The disturbing litany continued on as he thrust into the boy, only ceasing when he finally came._
> 
> _As Jesse emptied into Xander’s body, he stripped the boy’s cock, mercilessly wringing an orgasm from the teen._ ***

*********

The change in breathing and pulse alerted Spike to his boy’s waking. He had two choices; he could move the mortal back to his original position- alone on the far end of the couch, or he could bare the boy’s ire. As far as the vampire was concerned the choice was simple, this farce had gone on long enough. Gently, he tightened his hold on the slowly waking young man, taking the opportunity to nuzzle into Xander’s soft curls. Whatever had been plaguing the young man would be dealt with today.

The boy’s heart rate suddenly shot upwards and the bitter scent of terror began rolling off of him.

“’s okay Xan, promise. You’re safe; can wake up now. It’s safe, Xan, safe.”

Bleary eyed, Xander looked up into concerned crystal blue eyes, sleepily, “Jesse used to tell me that.”

Spike was unimpressed. “Did he?”

“Mm-hmm, but he never looked at me like that,” he inclined his head towards the vamp. “Not even after he…”

Spike stiffened, what had this Jesse done to his boy? Running long pale fingers through Xander’s hair, he tenderly asked, “After he what, pet?”

“Nothing,” he shook his head. “Spike?”

“Mmm,” the sound seemed more of a warm rolling purr that a ‘spoken’ response.

“Thank you… but,” the boy hesitated, “why?”

The undead blond thought carefully before he answered, “Maybe ‘cause you don’t need to be going through this alone. Maybe ‘cause you remind me of someone from another life. Maybe ‘cause you need someone to care.” The vamp drew an unneeded breath before continuing, “Maybe I need someone to care for. Or could jus’ be that I like you despite myself, that you’re my friend, and I don’t like to see the people I care about in pain.” Spike stopped, tilted his head as he considered his own words, then added, “’less pain is what they want, but don’t think we’re there yet. Right, pet?”

Xander snorted a sad laugh, “No, so not there we aren’t even in the same solar system.”

They sat quietly for several minutes, Xander protectively tucked against Spike’s chest, while the vampire continued to pet and run his fingers through the mortal’s shaggy chocolate locks.

“That first time… he said I shouldn’t have been surprised. That it was the next natural progression of our relationship. Haha,” Xander barked, “next natural progression!?!”

Spike tightened his arms around the young man, offering what meagre solace he could from such fresh, painful memories.

“Thought he cared. When he found out about what my dad did…,” the young man shuddered, “He even said he loved me.” Xander’s breath hitched as emotions he’d pent up for far too long tried to overwhelm him.

“’s okay Xander, let it out, pet. ‘m right here; not goin’ anywhere.”

Xander allowed himself to get momentarily lost in the coddling and mothering of the blond vampire. He knew he was in serious danger of losing his heart to the ‘Evil Undead’, if he hadn’t already, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. It felt too good to be able to tell someone, too good to have that someone protect and comfort him… too good to be held in _Spike’s_ arms. As ever seemed to happen with Xander, his mouth bypassed his brain as he began to tell the vampire about the last time. “It was the week before school started, Dad was in one of his ‘moods’- I could tell it was gonna be a bad one, so I called Jesse.” Xander clutched at Spike’s shirt reassuring himself that he wasn’t alone. “I don’t know when he got there, if it was before Dad started, but I remember… I remember praying, begging whatever powers there were to let him show up soon. I knew if Jesse saw, he’d find a way to stop it- I believed that, Spike. I had to. Anyway,” the dark youth rubbed his brow against the cool flesh of Spike’s collarbone, “my dad was ‘busy’ and I looked out the window hoping Jesse’d be there.” His breath caught and he made a little gasping/coughing sound before he continued. “He was.” Xander jerked his head up, warm, watery, bloodshot eyes seeking cool blue pools of solace, “He was there. Watching. More than watching. He was… gods, Spike…”

The vampire took Xander’s face in his hands, gently rubbing away tears and forcing the young mortal to focus on him, “Shh, shh, ‘m here, luv and ‘is not. Neither of them are. Jus’ you an’ me. Spike and Xander.” Then he kissed the human’s forehead and tucked his head into the crook of his neck as he rocked slowly, emitting a low soothing purr.

*********

> From his perch in the tree outside Xander’s bedroom, Jesse watched the now familiar scene play out in front of him.
> 
> A backhand to the normally smiling face, followed by a punch to the ribs- the crack could be heard even through the closed window. The boy curled into a foetal position as the blows and kicks rained down. When the blows ceased, the elder Harris grabbed his son by the waistband, yanking him to his hands and knees.
> 
> The young man in the tree was already hard, his erection pressing almost painfully against his jeans.
> 
> Gracelessly, Tony Harris ripped Xander’s pants and boxers off of him, then set to work releasing his own cock.
> 
> Outside, Jesse followed suit, grunting his pleasure as Xander’s father rammed into his son’s unprepared ass. Jesse’s hand easily followed the rhythm of the older man’s thrusts. He was so caught up in the actions and sensations that, at first, he didn’t notice the eyes watching him. When he did notice, he locked his eyes with Xander’s revelling in the fear and betrayal he saw there.
> 
> Within moments, both of Xander’s violators came.
> 
> Weak, beaten, and crushed the dark boy passed out.
> 
> Xander woke up in his bed, cleaned and bandaged with Jesse wrapped possessively around him.
> 
> As he tried to wriggle free, Jesse tightened his hold on the boy and spoke, “Do you have any idea how hot that was?”
> 
> The abused boy stilled.
> 
> “The look in your eyes when you saw me- exquisite.” The lanky teen rolled them so that he was atop his life-long friend. “Gonna fuck you so good, Xan. So good you won’t even remember that bastard ever touching you.” He kissed Xander hard and violent.
> 
> Within the week, Jesse was dead and his vampire-self dusted. 

*********


	4. Family and Fiends

\---------

As the weeks progressed Xander and Spike’s movie nights became more frequent, and nearly every one ended with the mortal ensconced in the blond’s embrace.

Just over six weeks after Xander’s ‘confession’, on a Tuesday- Spike would remember that for the rest of his unlife- their routine changed.

Instead of sprawling on opposite ends of the sofa, Xander waited for Spike to settle himself then curled into the vampire’s side.

Surprised, pleasantly so, Spike wrapped an arm around his beloved human, pulling him snugly to his chest.

That night as he drifted on the verge of sleep, Xander felt the gentle press of cool lips against his forehead and a soft, deep, rich voice whispering, “Love you, Xan. Not gonna let anyone hurt you again, not if it’s in my power.”

Xander slung his arm around his vamp, rubbing his cheek against Spike’s firm chest, “Love you, too, Spike. Love you, too.”

In the morning, Xander awoke to the most beautiful azure eyes. The near ivory skin surrounding them giving them an otherworldly glow. Reaching up, Xander cupped a porcelain cheek. “So beautiful.”

“Morning, luv. Sleep alright?”

Xander chuckled, “You know I did.”

“Yeah, can’t blame a bloke for askin’.”

The young man stroked the vampire’s cheek, “I do love you, Spike.”

A pained expression crossed the vampire’s face, he wanted to believe, he craved Xander’s love more than regaining the ability to taste fresh human blood from the source. “Can you? After everything you’ve been through?”

“Spike, you’ve made me believe in myself enough to get a decent job- one I like and I’m good at; you got me out of that hellhole of a basement; you’ve given me a lifeline with no strings attached. You’ve taken care of me, more than that you showed me I can take care of myself.

“How can I love you after all I’ve been through? Easy. I can love you _because_ of all I’ve been through.” He leaned forward brushing his lips against the blond’s in a sweet, chaste kiss.

The following week, Spike moved in.

\---

For the next month, vampire and human shared a bed, ever more intense and passionate kisses, but nothing more.

Spike loved his boy deeply and couldn’t bear the thought of Xander feeling pushed into anything- especially when it came to ‘them’. He wanted to find a way to broach the subject of sex that left Xander in control. The blond chain smoked and brooded, yes _brooded_ , over this dilemma, barely noticing when the object of his reverie got home. Distractedly he greeted the young man, “’ello, luv.”

“Hey, baby. You mind if I grab a shower before we head to the meeting?”

“’course not, pet.”

As the vamp idly watched the dark boy strip his shirt, unbutton his jeans, and head for the bathroom, Spike had the most ridiculously simple idea…

The Scooby meeting was thankfully boring- no major demon activity, standard patrol breakdown, and a wonderful absence of research. The two men even got home at a decent hour.

As soon as they were in the door, Xander’s lips were on his vamp’s and he was pulling Spike towards their bedroom. Once there, the dark boy laid on top of the vampire, arms crossed over the blond’s chest. He studied the magnificent pale creature beneath him as strong hands traced patterns over his back. Cocking his head, “Okay Blondie, spill.”

Spike’s brow wrinkled and he replied with an oh-so-articulate, “Huh?”

Chuckling, Xander kissed his vamp’s chest, “You’ve been distracted all night. You might be able to fool the others, but I know my vamp. So what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

“Not sure you want to know, pet.”

“Of course I want to know, you silly vamp- I love you.” The mortal smiled one of his bright, caring smiles; the kind that made Spike’s heart melt and his demon’s protective instincts go into overdrive.

Looking into the open, trusting, and above all loving eyes of the man he cared so much for, “C’m’ere you,” he said as he pulled Xander up for a slow, meaningful kiss. Spike rolled them so that they lay on their sides, facing one another, “I want to ask you something, Xander.”

The young man nodded.

Spike sat up, rubbing his brow; the dark eyed mortal sitting as well. Taking a calming, if unneeded, breath, the vampire asked, “You’ve never actually made love with another bloke, have you?”

“Spike, I told you…,” the young man began- embarrassment and disgust rolling off of him.

The vampire shushed him with a cool finger to his lips. “No, pet. At best, **that** ,” he spat the word, “was fucking. I asked if you’d ever _made love_.”

Silently, Xander shook his head.

“Would you like to?” Spike’s tone was hesitant, concerned, almost coy.

This time Xander nodded, still too unsure of his mouth to trust it.

“You trust me, luv?”

Xander nodded once again.

“Come on, luv, I want to hear that sunny voice of yours.”

Licking his lips and swallowing hard, “Yes, Spike. I trust you.”

The vampire smiled sweetly and kissed his boy’s forehead. “Then lay back for me.”

Eyes locked with the vamp’s, Xander did as he was instructed.

Slowly, Spike eased his way up Xander’s body, until he was covering the larger man’s form with his own. “Jus’ wanna feel ya for a bit, luv.”

He let his weight rest on the young mortal as his hands slid over Xander’s arms, feeling the muscle and the heat that radiated through his clothing. Spike burrowed his head into Xander’s neck basking in the scent that had comforted and lulled him far longer than even he realized. “You have any idea what you do to me?” His voice rumbling softly in Xander’s ear, “The way you smell, the way you feel, the way you look, everything about you Xander, beautiful, perfect.”

Lacing their fingers together, Spike brought their hands above their heads as he ground their still covered erections together, and gently, almost chastely, kissed his boy. His full bottom lip lingering playfully between Xander’s as he pulled back to look into lust laden eyes the colour of fine dark Swiss chocolate.

Xander whimpered, begging for those soft lips to return.

Sensually, Spike ran his nails down Xander’s inner arms from wrist to elbow. “Relax Xan, not done yet- not by a long shot, pet. Gonna show you how good this can be- how it’s _supposed_ to be.”

The vampire moved his legs so he was straddling the younger man, before pulling himself up to a sitting position. His hands ghosted over Xander’s t-shirt covered chest tracing the dim outline of muscle. Slowly, Spike untucked the shirt, sliding it up as he slid himself down to kiss the exposed flesh of Xander’s belly.

Xander watched in fascination as Spike eased his shirt further up his torso trailing soft, moist kisses in its wake.

As Xander followed Spike’s thorough perusal of the expanse of flesh, he felt a wave of heat and desire flood him; he didn’t care, all he knew was that he **had** to get to that pale, creamy flesh, had to feel it against his. Blindly, he reached down, pulling at the already bunched up cloth of his shirt.

Gently but firmly, Spike covered and stilled the young man’s hands with his, “Xan?”

The young man whimpered, then through heavy breaths explained, “Want to feel you. **Need** to feel you.”

In his most soothing voice, smiling at his lover, “I know. Want it, too; jus’ don’t want to push.”

Grabbing a fist full of the vamp’s shirt, the mortal growled, “Shirts. Gone. Skin. Now.”

Chuckling, Spike quickly obliged his human. Once he had Xander’s sun-darkened skin uncovered, he kissed his belly below the ribcage, then proceeded to lick a trail up his chest and breast bone, over his Adam’s Apple, exchanging cool tongue for cool lips before passionately taking his boy’s lips. “Love the way you taste, Xander- all innocence and sunshine. Never thought I’d know that sensation again, but you give it to me every day.” He kissed first one expressive brown eye, “Every time I look in your eyes,” then the other, “every time you smile,” his lips, “every time you touch me,” and his chest, “it’s like being bathed in a warming light. You, Xander Harris, give me the sun.”

Xander clutched at the vampire’s back as Spike kissed his way back down to the soft denim covering his prize. He popped the button on Xander’s jeans, but before he went any further, Spike locked gazes with the wondrous man he covered, “Say the word, luv, and I’ll stop- whatever we’re doin’, I swear.”

“I know, Spike. I love you and I trust you,” the young man offered a quirky half smile.

The vamp nodded then nuzzled the bulge in his lover’s pants. Slowly, Spike unzipped Xander’s jeans; his acute sense of smell flooding with the scent of his boy’s arousal. Just as he’d done with Xander’s shirt, the vampire kissed and nipped his way down the gradually exposed flesh of his lover’s legs.

Once Xander’s jeans were gone, Spike quickly removed his own too tight black denims fully exposing himself to his beautiful boy for the first time.

Xander’s breath caught, he didn’t think he’d ever seen anything more gorgeous. Spike was a sculpture come to life, an elegant, graceful, perfect being who wanted and loved _him_. The shear concept took Xander’s breath away.

A smile worked its way across the vampire’s face. It was a smile that spoke of love, promise, desire, mischief, passion, and things to come.


	5. A Fiend You Can Count On

\---------

Like a sleek cat on the prowl, Spike crawled up Xander’s near naked body, stopping at the dark-eyed boy’s boxers. Hooking black nailed fingers in the waistband, he tenderly slid them down allowing him access to the dribbling shaft he longed to taste, touch, and feel.

Xander jumped as cool air caressed his rigid cock, and moaned when a cooler tongue trailed a wet path to the head, dipping softly to tease the slit. “Gods, Spike.”

“Like that, did you, pet?”

“You could say that- in a completely understating kind of way.”

The vampire chuckled, even as a terrified virgin, which Xander was as far as Spike was concerned, his boy still babbled. He quirked an expressive eyebrow, “How ‘bout this?” With no more warning than that, the blond vampire took his boy’s far from inconsiderable length into his cool, hungry mouth.

Throwing his head back as he swallowed a scream, Xander’s body shook all over causing Spike to release his heavenly treat.

“Xan, look at me, pet- need to know you’re okay.”

Xander forced himself to look into the eyes of his lover, hoping Spike could see the trust and desire he had for him.

The vamp got the message, loud and clear. Still, his desire darkened blue eyes never left Xander’s, even as he took the young mortal’s cock into his mouth, once again.

It took all of Xander’s will not to let his eyes roll back into his head and his head to fall back to the pillow.

Spike took his time showing his boy _exactly_ what a hundred years of experience and not needing to breath had taught him.

Soon the young man was teetering on the edge- an edge Spike didn’t want him to go over just yet.

Reluctantly, the blond released the delectable flesh, and slowly slinked up his lover’s body.

Instinctively, Xander’s arms went around the vamp. His hands exploring the smooth, silky flesh.

Petting his boy’s dark curls with one hand, Spike traced his lips with the other.

Xander parted his lips and playfully nipped at the elegant digits.

The vampire’s wry chortle was cut off by his sudden intake of breath when Xander’s warm tongue licked the tip of an ‘abused’ finger.

Encouraged by his vampire’s reaction, the dark, work-tanned young man licked a longer strip over the pale finger, happily taking it in at the slight thrust into his mouth.

Spike couldn’t contain the blissful moan at the moist, velvety warmth searing his flesh. “Sunshine,” he whispered, removing his finger and replacing it with his tongue.

Mindlessly, Xander’s hands travelled to cup his vampire’s perfect ass.

When Xander squeezed, Spike moaned into their kiss, thrusting against his boy, rubbing their throbbing shafts together.

His beautiful human gasped at the unfamiliar sensation, breaking their intense exploration of each other’s mouths.  
Spike raised a questioning eyebrow, “Alright?”

Gripping the pale ass in his hands, Xander pushed Spike’s body down as he bucked up causing both man and vamp to gasp wantonly. “More than.”

A smile, the likes of which Xander had only ever imagined seeing spread across Spike’s fine face. It was joy, mischief, longing, pride, and love rolled into one perfect, almost blinding smile. Tilting his head, Spike watched his boy in amazement, “Pet, next bit can bit a bit scary, I need you to trust me.”

“You know I trust you- you don’t need to keep asking.”

“Yeah, I do, pet. Not gonna risk hurting or scaring you,” the vampire traced the soft planes of his lover’s face, “or, worse, betraying your trust.”

Xander cupped Spike’s cheek, pulling him down for a kiss. His lips curled into a slight, shy smile, “The mere fact that you worry tells me you won’t.”

Spike rolled off his precious boy, collecting a tube from the nightstand drawer. Before he even turned back to the young mortal, he heard his heart rate speed up alarmingly. “Xander, Sunshine,” he took his dearly loved human’s hand, “we don’t have to do anything more.”

Gulping, twining their fingers together, Xander looked into concerned crystal blue eyes, “Want to, just scared.”

“Oh, pet,” Spike easily manoeuvred the mortal so he sat between the vampire’s strong legs. Kissing the boy’s neck, Spike held him close as he whispered soothing words into his ear. “Shh, pet. ‘s okay. Just let me hold you, we won’t go any further tonight, okay?” The vampire rocked his love; a soft purr radiating from his chest and through his precious boy.

“Spike?”

“Hmm?”

“I _want_ to. I want to make love with you. I want you.”

“Xan?”

“Please Spike,” the young man turned just enough to see his vamp’s eyes.

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.”

Surprisingly, there was almost no hesitation in his love’s voice; once again impressing upon Spike the mortal’s remarkable strength. Having assured himself that his boy was certain, Spike slipped from behind Xander, urging him to lay back down. With his hand on Xander’s chest feeling the pulsing thump-thump of his lover’s heart, Spike asked the hardest question of the night, “How do you want to do this?”

Shyly, “I just assumed you’d…,” the young man blushed and turned his head away from the blond vamp.

Instantly, Spike was stretched on his side, pressed against his chocolate-eyed boy, petting his hair and turning his face back towards him. “Only if that’s what you want, you understand me, Xan? _**Only**_ if it’s what you want.”

Xander nodded, then, knowing his vamp wanted an audible answer, he swallowed, “I know Spike.”

Rubbing their foreheads together, Spike whispered, his breath ghosting over the young man’s face, “Tell me what you want, pet.”

Steeling himself to speak the words, Xander took a deep breath, and in a shaky voice, speaking in barely more than a whisper himself, “I want to feel you… inside… taking it all away. Making me feel loved and… and…”

“…important, cherished,” the blond completed for him. “The most incredible, amazing thing in my unlife.”

With what may have been tears in his eyes, though neither man would say, Xander whispered, “Please.”

He gently kissed his boy’s brow before moving to his mischievous mouth. As Spike gave his precious boy a chance to breath, “Pull your knees up, pet.” Spike ran his hand from chest to abdomen, skirting his lover’s weeping erection, to trail sensually over a bent leg. The vampire’s body followed his hand ‘til he knelt between his boy’s legs. With feather touches, Spike continued to caress Xander’s legs, his spread fingers travelling up and down the sensitive skin of his inner thighs.

As Xander whimpered in pleasure, his knees fell farther apart, opening him even more to his loving vamp.

On the next downward caress, the nimble fingers continued on to flit over the delicate skin between the boy’s buttocks.

Xander let out a shaky breath at the touch, but Spike sensed no increase in his boy’s fear- if anything it was subsiding. Spike smiled to himself, basking in the wonder that was Xander Harris; once again being taken by the young mortal’s inner strength.

As the cool thin fingers of one hand danced over and around Xander’s hole, the other deftly opened the slick, dribbling a generous amount over his hand and his boy. Taking his lover’s erection in his unlubed hand, Spike began languidly stroking the hard flesh as a single slicked finger dipped in and out of his hole, not quite penetrating the ring of muscle there.

Soon Xander was pressing back against his vampire’s finger encouraging it further inside. “More,” even in a whisper his voice was dark and husky.

The sound and glazed look of pleasure in the mortal’s face were all the incentive Spike needed. Smoothly, the teasing finger breached Xander‘s body.

Xander mewled, but didn’t stop rocking against his vamp’s hand. Before long he was whimpering for more.

Laying a calming hand on his lover’s belly, Spike slipped a second slicked finger inside his boy.

The young man’s brow crinkled and he moaned. The hand on his stomach began petting, as Spike shh’d and cooed over him.

Once Xander’s body relaxed, Spike began to gently pump his fingers, flexing and stretching.

A wanton sound escaped the mortal’s lips as his head lolled back against the pillow in pleasure.

It was just the moment Spike was waiting for to crook his fingers and cause Xander’s world to explode.

“Oh gods!” He was gasping for breath. “That was… nice; do it again?”

“With pleasure,” the blond crooned before setting off another round of firecrackers throughout Xander’s body.

After a few moments of stimulating his lover’s prostate, when Spike knew his boy was completely absorbed by the titillating sensations, he eased a third finger into Xander’s willing body. Working the three digits, the vampire lovingly finished preparing the young man he loved above all else.

When Spike withdrew his tantalizing fingers, Xander felt empty, abandoned. His vampire quickly moved to comfort him, peppering his face with kisses between his words, “’s okay Xan… fill you up real good… jus’ need to know you still want it… can’t bear the thought of hurting… my Sunshine.”

Xander looked into Spike’s blue-gold eyes, feeling no fear or distress, only feeling loved and protected. “Yes, please, Spike. …please.”

The raw need in his precious human’s voice caused Spike’s demon to rage- it screamed for vengeance, for the blood of those who had almost destroyed such a remarkable human, more than that though it demanded to love-protect-Claim the beautiful dark man, however, Spike knew that wouldn’t be tonight. The combination of this being his boy’s first time and the chip made the enticing possibility out of the question.

With one last kiss, the vampire sat back on his knees, placing his lover’s legs over his shoulders, and positioning himself to enter his boy.


	6. A Fiend for Life

\---------

Once again placing a calming hand on Xander’s stomach, Spike slowly pressed forward, stopping when his boy gasped. “You feel so good, Xan. You want me to stop?”

Gritting his teeth, the dark mortal shook his head and bore down against the blond.

A lifetime later, Spike was fully sheathed in his lover’s searing heat.

“Ooohhhh, gods, Spike…”

Tensing his body against the euphoric sensation of being inside his boy, his love, his Xander, “I know, Xan, it’s heaven.”

“Talk to me, Spike- wanna hear your voice.”

At first, the vampire was surprised by the request, but the surprise quickly vanished with the knowledge of Xander’s other encounters- silence or hatred from his father and cruel, vulgar words from the boy who was supposedly his friend. Huskily with a low rumble in his voice the vamp began speaking, “What would you like to hear, Xan?” Spike chose that moment to pull out of his lover. “That you’re so warm and welcoming I feel ‘m on fire.” He smoothly pushed back in, earning a wanton moan from his Xander. “That I love you…” with each declaration came a matching stroke, rubbing Xander’s sweet spot with every other thrust. “Love the way you smell- warmth, chocolate, …ohh… home…”

“Ahhhh!”

“…the way you look- strong muscle, soft, caring face, eyes that …ungh… have seen too much, but…”

Panting, Xander reeled with the words falling from his vampire’s lips- so close in structure to the vulgarities Jesse would utter, but so blatantly opposite in feeling and intent. Spike truly was removing the past and replacing it with love and wonder- cherishing him.

“…still keep their sparkle …oh, baby… the way you feel- smooth velvet skin,” the vampire ran a hand over Xander’s chest, tweaking an erect nipple as he went- his boy bucking into him at the touch. “…silky, soft hair, moist, hungry mouth,” he shivered as his boy took his finger into his mouth for a second time, “…tight, wonderful hole that should be worshipped and loved- just like the rest of you.”

Xander moaned around the vampire’s cool finger. This was just what he needed and longed for- love and respect.

Soon Spike’s thrusts were becoming erratic; he slipped Xander’s legs from his shoulders.

The mortal automatically wrapped them around his vampire’s waist.

Trapping Xander’s erection between them, Spike pressed their chests together nuzzling his boy’s throat. He could hear the blood rushing through the beautiful man’s body, smell the enticing mixed scents of love, trust, and arousal, and feel the heart pumping under that deliciously warm skin. He wanted it, wanted Xander, wanted **his Sunshine**. Spike latched on to his boy’s neck with blunt teeth; he was so close and he knew Xander was, too.

Xander cried out in pleasure, rocking against the blond as his loving vampire sucked on his vulnerable neck.

The expanse of pale flesh so close to his own mouth was more temptation than the passion-filled mortal could resist. Without thinking twice, Xander bit roughly into Spike’s tender flesh, breaking the skin.

The sudden jolt of pleasure/pain sent Spike over the edge in more ways than one. As his balls emptied deep inside his love, fangs sunk into warm flesh.

Xander felt more alive than he could ever recall, his body tingled, his cock throbbed, pumping hot come between the two men’s bellies, and he swore he could feel Spike inside him coursing through his veins, following the synapses and neural pathways of his mind, becoming a part of him.

Simultaneously, both man and vamp released their hold on the other’s neck as the waves of orgasmic electricity began to subside.

Spike recovered first, “Gods, Xan, pet? Xander, did I hurt you?”

Floating on a bliss-induced fog, Xander fought to answer, “’m fine.” A sappy grin crossed his face, “More than fine- perfect.”

Nuzzling his boy’s hair, Spike wasn’t convinced, “I’m so sorry, Xander. Can you…”

Foggy brain not-withstanding, Xander picked out his vampire’s apology and interrupted him, “Huh? Baby, you’re not making any sense. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong!?! Xan, I _bit_ you!”

“Yeah,” dreamily, “I bit you, too.”

“Xander…”

“What Spike?” His voice dripped with sarcasm, “Am I dead and don’t know it yet? Did you turn me?”

Spike rolled his eyes at his love, “No,” he said petulantly. Then quietly added, “Just Claimed you.”

The young human practically beamed, “Is… is that a bad thing?”

The blond vamp was taken aback by Xander’s reaction, or rather the scent the boy released in reaction. There was no anger; there was fear, but not of Spike or the Claim, it was fear of rejection- one scent was sweet, the other bitter. It was a fine line, but a Master Vampire knew the difference. Spike rolled off the human, pulling him close, “Not far as I’m concerned. More concerned about you.”

“Why?”

“Shoulda asked. Shoulda explained things to you first. Should made sure you wanted it.”

“Spike, did you even know you _could_ bite me?”

The vampire considered the implications of his lover’s question, “No. Figured I couldn’t, if you must.”

“Maybe you could ‘cause I did want it.”

“How could you? You don’t have the slightest idea what it means.”

“Hey, I’ve read Giles’ books… well, the interesting bits.”

Spike merely quirked an eye.

Xander shook his dark head, blushing slightly, then snuggled against his vampire, “So, tell me now.”

“Xan…”

“What? You want me to know and to make the decision if I want it. So, do it.”

This time it was Spike’s turn to shake his head, adding a smirk for good measure, gods he loved this man who never ceased to amaze him. “Fine. The Claim marks you as mine, other vampires and demons will know you are special to me and under my protection. It also means that if someone wants to hurt me or start a feud, they _may_ target you. Since you have a small amount of vampire blood in you, you’ll heal faster and be more resistant to human ailments, **but** your body can become addicted to my blood and if you go too long without it, it _could_ kill you.” Spike put a hand up to forestall any questions, “It would take weeks, if not months, to get to that point. It can also be a way to mark an intended Mate. That’s about it. So, any questions?”

“Would Buffy sense it?”

“Shouldn’t, she’d probably pick something up if we were Mated, but the Claim shouldn’t set her off.”

“Deadboy would know though.”

The vampire nodded.

“’k. You gonna ask me the million dollar question now?”

Taking a deep breath, “Xander, my Sunshine,” he took his lover’s hand, bringing it to his mouth to kiss, “may I Claim you?”

With a burst of speed that surprised even Spike, the young mortal straddled his vamp. Cocking his head, he studied the blond, trying to read the emotions in those vibrant azure eyes. Finally, Xander’s face broke into one of his sunshine smiles, “Please. I’d love to be yours, to be the Claimed of William the Bloody, Master Vampire- **_MY_** vampire.” The dark boy lay atop his vamp caressing his sculpted face, “Love you, baby.”

“You too, Sunshine,” Spike wrapped his arms around his Claimed, holding him close and silently swearing once again to protect this miraculous man and to punish those who hurt him.

Content in each other’s arms, man and vamp fell into a deep sated sleep.


End file.
